Even the word is wrong.
Asking you to stay could be a mistake,
we’ve been there before.
Before you loved me and I love you still,
sadly, love isn’t enough.
When you arrived at departures,
I waved, you waved back,
and a wave of nausea set in.
As you approached I thought of our beginning,
I remembered how your Sufi poems
and my Salsa moves mixed so well
in your studio apartment,
filled with the scent of candles
and cheap wine.
I tell myself that things end, lives end, drinks end,
our marriage can end too,
but it’s not enough.
Hellos are better: “Hello”
Are you sure this is for the best?
It’s not Valentine’s or Christmas Eve, but it was,
I was, and you were, we …
‘til no more.
I can’t panic now, I need to breathe.
“Come, sit beside me.”
Now that our hands are holding each other,
afraid they won’t get to do it again,
I don’t mind your silence
if you wait with me.
In the future I see pain,
success, loss, love,
my trip to Istanbul,
but you’re not there.
“You look nervous, don’t be”,
I can handle this,
but handling is tricky when it’s not by choice.
Can you handle it, the absence of us?
Waiting to leave is agony,
I think and don’t think well to form a thought,
you think possibly too much, I too little,
sometimes together we thought enough.
In a few minutes you’ll be on your ride home,
Yesterday’s fortune cookie told me: “you will meet a stranger who needs help.”
Today in the bathroom mirror
I met her.
“I have to go, my flight is leaving,
I’ll call you when I arrive.”
Goodbye, bye bye.
I can’t decide.
One final kiss after so many.
Tomorrow I’ll have no claim for another.
“Please don’t worry about me!”
One step is all it’ll take.
One step in the wrong direction,
one step away from you
and I’ll lose.